Miller November & December 2025 Monthly Update
- Michelle
- 2 days ago
- 21 min read
Ok, so this blog is going to cover November and pretty much most of December.
Mostly because we are going to be moving at the end of December, and we won’t have time to update until mid to late January anyway. Any events we go to or host will not begin until February, after we have moved and settled in.
We will be sending out invites to a group of people we wanted to reach out to and spend time with in 2025. We hope to reconnect slowly. Since John and I are still going through trauma therapy and have to tread carefully. We cannot jump straight into messaging and hanging out often. Thank you for your patience as we work through this difficult time in our processing.
If you wish to contact us, please reach out to John and/or expect a response from him. At this time, I will be very dissociated and disconnected from time quite a bit. I am working through a very heavy realization that I both want to avoid and also have to face in order to process. So if I break down crying randomly, please don’t worry or think it’s personal. It has probably just been building for a while.
So let’s begin with an update on what has been happening with us over the past month and a half.
During the first week, I had a procedure that required me to be put under. That took a few days for prep, the day of the procedure itself, and then catching up on lost time. It was dreadful. I hated it. I was in a lot of pain and suffering. I wanted it to end...but stuck through it with the promise of Qdoba as the reward for right after the procedure. That helped me stick it out. Things recovered quickly and no time to rest.
First time, there was a community painting activity at our apartment complex that we attended. It was the first one we’ve ever gone to in the whole five years we’ve lived here. The ones we wanted to go to, we already had things planned. The ones we didn't want to go to, we usually were free for. Odd how that seemed to always pan out. It was actually a lot of fun, and this is what we made:
We had to make it in an hour and a half because we had a class and meeting to run to right after.
Hope to do this again sometime. We really do like the idea of doing art events at apartments as a community building activity. This may be something we would be interested in hosting with our various craft workshops and classes anyway.
More on this in the next year.
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We finally got a vehicle!! We were blessed with a newer vehicle to call our own! God has always provided what we need when we needed it. For the past two years, we have been learning to let go and trust God to take care of things.
And the difference has been CRAZY.
We always had food or money for food. We always had a means of transportation when we needed it. We always had resources when we needed them. Even with DHS messing up John’s paperwork for his caregiving services (and my income from Medicaid), I’m still somehow able to get paid—WAY after the fact—while waiting for the paperwork to be reviewed. They still technically haven’t looked through it, even though everything was already sent in by February of 2025. Even TRE, The Resource Exchange, and my caregiving company that pays me cannot get in contact with DHS to get them to do anything.
BUT I’M STILL GETTING PAID!?
Keep in mind, this is Medicaid. The same Medicaid that caused issues for me for the past four years, including a 10-month gap while still showing an “approved” status the whole time.
-update on this one: We got a response back saying he was approved, but didn't seem like they fully looked at his paperwork. So we will have to wait until Monday for my supervisor to look it over. But I'm still getting paid so we can still make rent and utilities!-
Payments for LEAP doubled this year, helping us cover two months of heating our home. Our food stamp benefits didn’t stop in November even though they were expected to—and did stop for others. So this time we definitely got lucky!
We were also able to move to a new location (come Jan): a better spot for us, a better price, a better size, and so peaceful. Our Safeway across the street had closed down, which was another sign that it was time for us to go… and this year, we finally had the means to do it!
On top of that, we have plans for our business—a direction, opportunities that show up wherever we go, investments coming in, and a community we finally feel like we belong to. Now that we have a plan in place with steps, motivation, and routines to build, it feels like the perfect time for financial blessings so we can use them wisely. If we had received them earlier, we probably would have wasted most, if not all, of it.
Things that fell apart or became disappointments have always come back BETTER than what was lost. It was just a matter of waiting patiently and focusing on the blessings we already had.
It has been a wild rollercoaster in November and already in December.
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But WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Yes, another wild story to throw in here that made this update another two days late—which is also another great reason for us to move locations from here.
So the car you probably met us driving was a quick buy we expected to die out within three months of buying it. We named it Miracle because it kept going with minor fixes for almost five years.
Come this last June, when it finally died on us and we didn’t have the means for a vehicle. It sat until November 3rd, when we finally sold it and the dude towed it away. This was literally the night before my procedure, and I was in a lot of pain. John dealt with this himself.
Now fast-forward to last week. We got something in the mail about a traffic violation going up and down the freeway/highway. It was still attached to my name and address. It was funny to see that since we hadn't been able to take it on the freeway for over 3 years due to damages we couldn't afford to fix.
We followed up with the guy, asking again for a copy of the Bill of Sale so we could get things squared away at the DMV. The dude said sure, but he wasn’t home and would get it to us when he got home. A few days passed, with John following up every day until just this last Thursday. He was going to escalate it to small claims court if we didn’t get that copy.
Thursday morning he called six times from five different numbers. Three times John picked up, not knowing they were him. But he was cussing John out and threatening to come shoot him at our place.
Keep in mind, this vehicle was towed away from our apartment, so he does know generally where we live.
The dude then proceeded to post John’s number everywhere, cussing and telling people to call and spam John’s number. We only found this out because two kind people called letting John know this was happening and that they had reported the post. I think a few others messaged John with the same sentiments.
What’s odd is that this dude was trying to establish five different businesses and even gave us one of his business cards.
John stated this dude sounded like he was definitely on drugs from the calls. I mean, the guy called just to cuss and laugh maniacally before hanging up.
So we are a little wary, as getting death threats is not that uncommon for us. We typically get one a year from some crazies. This time it happened to be near the end of the year!
My trauma therapist, who used to be a cop for 15 years, said even she didn’t get that many death threats. John’s trauma therapist stated that there are some people for whom that just happens to be normal. And, well, that’s kind of been us.
Anyway, we got the cops involved, sent everything in, and contacted the DMV and the toll place to let them know the license plate has been cancelled, with the cops involved.
What’s odd is that, though it was more our fault for not double-checking our records, he would’ve been in the clear if he just hadn’t responded in that way. But with that escalation of threat… it’s kind of hard to let him slide now.
Yeah, that tends to be normal for our lives—though this level of extreme used to happen much more often.
It’s still going, though.
So a quick note with that… how are we supposed to work on breaking out of trauma and learn how to feel safe in our own bodies when we are constantly around those who choose violence as their course of action?
This has caused quite a delay and snag in our ability to relax enough to process past events, with constant current events popping up.
But then again… this is the challenge of faith: trusting in who you cannot see and taking a step with the confidence that you are protected.
For us, with what we have gone through, we are still alive. So many times we should have died from others or from our own hands… yet we survived.
We will keep going, learning to trust and focus on what we can do—not on what is outside of our control.
We still want to see what we can accomplish and where we will go!
We can't let this stop us!!
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The middle and end of November we focused on packing and preparing for two craft fair events. One was the CAW event at the Rainy Day Anime Store at the end of November, and the other was at Who Gives a SCRAP on December 6th.
Unfortunately, we were already burnt out and sick right after Thanksgiving, which took us out for a few days. We had to call out of the CAW event after looking forward to it all year. We didn’t feel like ourselves again until the end of Thursday—just in time to get ready for the craft fair at WGAS.
We prepared for a few hours the night before, hoping to have enough energy to make it through the event.
But it went extremely well! We got our positions and scripts down: I handle behind-the-scenes prep, planning, and finances, while John does the talking and carries items for me. We have always had such great teamwork, it's so much fun to be on the same wavelength and timing as someone else to have things run smoothly.
We were very encouraged this round, as people shared that they were excited and pleased to see our table. One person said it was her favorite table she’s ever seen. People loved our creativity with recycling and upcycling, the use of materials, the fun colors and items, and of course—our mascot, Top Hat Tom. Even people who were just casually scanning and trying to be polite when we said hello had their eyes light up when they saw Top Hat Tom and got to select a business card with him on it.
It has been such a confidence booster to see how much growth we’ve made over the years—how much we’ve learned and improved with each craft fair we’ve attended, and how much we’ve invested into being confident in ourselves, in our abilities, and in what we create. It’s exciting to see the trajectory we’re on!
I forgot to take pictures… so much was going on. But keep in mind, there will be a WGAS craft fair every quarter in the movement room (enter the building, it’s the first room on the right next to the front desk) for 2026. We should be at each one. We did a similar setup to last time, so if you remember the layout from the October craft fair, it was like that.
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In November, I thought it would be our last month to make art stuff before packing. But we couldn’t. Packing is taking a lot more time than expected, especially now that we can finally reach items we haven’t been able to get to for years. We endured three times where relatives moved out of multi-story homes after living there for years. So even removing half the items dropped off with us, we still have a lot.
There are so many decisions to be made, and apparently I’m the one who has to make most of them. My mental capacity will be reserved for moving, so any contact should go through John first. Socializing does not overlap with this for me, and it would drain more energy than it would help.
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Side Story and Note: Recycling cans here in Colorado Springs is pointless. Unless you have high-grade aluminum (like screen door frames) as the minimum of what you’re collecting, don’t bother. We collected cans for about three years and had one screen door frame. Filled up our car to the brim—and only got $13.
What is this ridiculousness? But hey, it helped us get some lunch… so I guess it was better than nothing. A long-awaited lesson learned.
California paid out more. Just sayin’.
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John and I did make some art—just a few ideas for our final piece to submit to the TRE Art Show next year, or to release as a gallery viewing since we’re both developing a series about the very difficult topics of our lives. The traumas we endured and the growth from them. Very few pieces were made just to relax or kill time. So can't really post those at this time.
But here are a few samples of earlier doodles I did in November.
Making more fishy art for my little sister. We will be selling fish art to help support her as she works towards her degree in Fish Conservation! If you know of any great fish scholarships or internships send them our way!
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My mind was focused on getting ATC kits out up to the first week of December. We’re sifting through tons of materials I’d prefer to use up instead of moving them into another storage bin. It also allows me to focus on more thoughtfully designed kits down the line, once I have space and know exactly what items I’m working with.
My other major focus is packing. John gets overwhelmed easily with items everywhere and organizing and packing is my forte anyway. While packing, I’m also sorting out items for about five other large projects or destinations where they need to go to next before we move.
We’re also switching to updating our website and setting up our planning for 2026.
Over the last month and this one, we’re both learning how much time and energy certain tasks and projects actually take. Most people learn this as kids or teens, but with ADHD and Autism (and PTSD with memory loss) there’s a huge gap in understanding how to judge that. Add in time blindness and disconnecting from reality, and it becomes impossible. But this countdown to moving is helping us see things differently.
For example: “We have X amount of time left.” (We started at two months—now we’re at three weeks.) We select our highest priorities that need to be done before we move or immediately after. Anything new that comes up, we have to ask: “Will this help us toward our highest priorities?” or “Is this necessary right now?” (Such as needing to schedule a home check-in appointment with a caregiving supervisor becoming a sudden necessity.)
We come up with a lot of ideas. And I mean a LOT. John and I keep turning to each other with excitement saying, “What if we do this…?” But most of the time, it’s a ridiculously long project that sounds easy only if we magically had endless time and could get into that flow state. So we’re shutting down more and more projects we hoped to finish in November. No way they’re fitting into December.
Now we’re at the point of packing almost every project we set aside throughout the past year, thinking we’d get right back to them.
And I’ve noticed… we have a LOT of paper products. Materials, in-progress items, completed items, paperwork, binders, books—we love paper.
The reason I wanted to merge this blog post with this month is because this process requires focus. I need to understand how long certain steps actually take and stay present with the passing of time. I’ve even been simplifying things to save time. Since we need a LOT of rest and recovery, and will need energy to move, we have to be careful with how we spend our energy.
Again, REST is a step we had to learn in 2025 just to get to this point. It wasn’t until July that we began incorporating intentional rest into our routines. We’re allowing ourselves days where we expect to take 2–3 naps to compensate for what we can’t get at night (insomnia, PTSD nightmares, sensory sensitivities, chronic pain, etc.). For about 3 months I was only able to sleep less than 3 hours at a time. Getting psychiatry help for sleep ended up being a lot more complex than it seemed.
Until we can unravel those trauma memories, we’ll continue to struggle with sleep. Meds generally do NOT help and often cause more issues than relief. We’ll follow up with a psychiatrist in late January to see if we can try something that might indirectly help. So for now, we must incorporate naps into our schedule. It also explains my peak working hours—from 6–8 p.m. to 2 a.m. These are the hours when I can actually work on packing and organizing, which requires all my energy.
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Sherlock has been a joy every day. She gets a little concerned when we don’t stick to a pattern and gets annoyed when we don’t spend time in the other room with her favorite heater. But it’s freezing in that room this time of year, and that heater is expensive to run. We still go in there every other day or so, because her loving gaze at the heat is just so adorable.
I am SO excited to see Sherlock’s reaction to the new place. As a reminder, we named her Sherlock because of her inquisitiveness and love of exploring. If I’m moving things or cleaning a room, she will wander in, find the opening I just made to work in, and sit right there. You've already seen three of those images. She does this multiple times a day and we adore her.
She brings us so much joy. I want to share some of the changes we’ve seen in her: she’s becoming more vocal with us, coming over for snuggles, purring loudly, demanding food and attention, following us when we’re in another room for more than a few minutes. If I am going to nap in the other room, she will yell at John and bring him to the door so we can all be in the same room together… and so much more. She used to be aloof, quiet, shy, scared, and generally hiding all the time. Now she stomps around like she owns the place. We are so proud of her.
She’s also a representation of what we’re going through too: jumpy and scared, afraid to speak up, scared to show our emotions, wanting to be around others but pretending to be aloof, afraid to ask for what we want or need, and more. She was terrified when we got her as a kitten. At first, when she started purring, she would immediately realize what she was doing and stop herself—even if her paws were making biscuits, showing she was happy. It took us 4–5 YEARS to get her to freely purr. Now she’ll climb up on me for snuggles, scritches, and tons of loud purrs.
We are so happy to see her growth and confidence in herself.
Yeah… I take mostly pictures of her out of anything. She can literally shift half an inch and we both start “oooh-ing” and “aaahh-ing” at her.
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Ok I'm going to go into some rambling here about the difference between "Love" and "Nice" and "Caring". So if you are up for it continue. Otherwise scroll down until you hit the photo of a pretty blue melt of crayon wax.
I’d like to point out a little difference I’ve noticed many people overlook: caring and being nice is not the same as loving.
This popped up from three incidences within the past month. All coming together because of a bumper sticker that got it rolling. I had seen this sticker before but something about it connected with the other two recent examples.
I can be thankful for things and still not feel loved when receiving them from certain people—especially when they are leftovers or items we specifically said we didn’t like or need. (More details on this down the road.)
You can care for and be nice to prisoners, but are you going to love them? Food, clothing, and shelter can only go so far. Do you know and respect their inner world? Do you sit with them and listen patiently? Do you encourage, support, or console them? Do they go to you for advice and comfort? Do you rejoice or grieve with them? If not even one of these applies… can you really call it love? Of course note. When pointing out these details, it is pretty obvious that isn't expected. But why do we say some parents love their kids when many of them are being treated the SAME way?
Caring is not Love. Being nice is not Love. They are PARTS of Love, but they are not Love itself.
I do not know what your definition of Love is. But for me, I have and will always follow 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 from the Bible. Love is 15 actions—actions that must be present and shown when they benefit the other person most.
“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails….” -1 Corinthians 13:4–8
Why does love never fail? Because they are actions. Intentional actions that help feed into the feeling of being loved. Thus, it keeps growing and will never fail. Will they be perfect? Of course not. No human (except Jesus) is, and no one should ever expect themselves or others to be. But if they are not making efforts every time there is an opportunity, then do they really love you? Or do they love...you?
Kinda wiggling into the discovery I made this past week: those who have marriages or relationships where they feel the “love” is gone feel that way because they stopped taking action. They stopped taking notice of their partner and responding to them where they are and where the other person would like to be. It’s a form of emotional neglect.
-Also, a reminder and a high recommendation to read the book Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect and the follow-up for adult relationships, Running on Empty No More, by Jonice Webb, PhD, to help understand some gaps from childhood that could be affecting your current relationships. VERY relatable to, I would say, more than 50% of the population to some degree—whether intentional or not.
This subject is very dear to me, as through my life I have learned the levels and differences of love and the lack of love, and the short-term and long-term effects of them both. This verse grounded me to reality while I was sitting on the side of the street against my ex’s house, crying hysterically, with my mind being manipulated so severely I couldn’t tell which way was up or down. Literally, I’m not exaggerating— it got that severe. I had to SIT in order to remember that sitting was 'down' and that that direction was down. I repeated the verse over and over and reminded myself that if the person’s name does not feel right when replacing the word “love” in the verse… they do NOT love you.
And he could not fit in any of them. They all involve action and intention in the other areas for themselves to be fulfilled.
This all boils down to: caring is NOT loving. Being nice is NOT loving.
Also, being nice and tolerant are NOT Christian characteristics. I saw a bumper sticker recently that pushed this idea into a writable portion: we are NEVER to be tolerant or nice to evil. Condoning or turning a blind eye to evil is evil itself. We are commanded to be “good”—as in God’s goodness. To replicate God’s characteristics, which cannot include evil, as evil is without God. Specifically, God is love. Thus, God is the only one who can perfectly act on those actions, which we must strive to be more like. None of those include or have room for evil.
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Sooo… I’ve been doing a lot of mental discovering through life, and connections are lighting up. I would really like to write out my understanding of the Bible and reality at some point, because it goes against a LOT of what I was taught growing up in the church.
Many are still stuck in those ruts and following the rails of tradition, when the answers are literally right there in the Bible—with stories and examples and everything.
I.e., the Bible wants passive men and tolerant men… well, what about David? He was known for his military prowess and the number he had killed in wars. He was not only physically strong, he was wise (minus a few human faults, mind you, which is also the point of the whole story), he was musical, he was poetic, and he would dance freely (even naked) in worship of God. As a KING. And he was highly looked up to by his kingdom AND favored by God. So physically capable, intelligent with wisdom, musically adept, and freely open with his emotions.
Where was I going with this…?
We should be much more in touch with our emotions and to freely express them.
Not expressing them is killing our humanity. And this is even starting to be a noose in the church. "Expressing grief or pain? No only joy! Must hide our struggles in life and pretend that God is good and everything is great!"
no no no no nooooo. How many times in the Bible did people cry to God that they wanted to die and they were suffering? Seriously, half of Psalms are in cries of pain and distress. Lamentations is all about grieving. Job had so many life-crushing events that would turn anyone suicidal. Or swing to the other side about sex. As a married couple, you are encouraged to have a lot of sex. To populate the earth and have large families. The book of Song of Solomon is supposed to be all about the marriage and love-life of a husband and wife.
Oh man there is just so much. Each sentence I just wrote has a chapter about it from what we read in the Bible, other verses that support this, first hand life experiences, and general observations of what is around us. I would love to show and connect so many dots that were just so hidden, even while growing up in the church. It all MAKES SENSE.
Then again...it'll have to be AFTER our move. You kind of seeing how a lot of our projects keep getting pushed further ahead? Because of times like this.
I just have a lot going on in my head, and I hope that this next year I can finally write out the blurbs and ideas to start organizing these topics. I’m not going to set deadlines yet—too much stress, which makes it impossible to start. Also, way too many projects going on at once.
I mean, just this blog: I have written four sections, and none of them were in order, and I didn’t even complete the thought before starting the next section—just to go back and possibly finish, but instead start another idea so I don’t forget.
I’m still struggling with the executive functioning, so I’m looking for a workable routine/pattern.
Did you know habits and routines are almost impossible to keep when you have severe dissociative issues, time blindness, specific flow states, and intolerance to being interrupted? So we are still working on a system that works for us! New apartment means new chances to set better foundations!
That brings me to release what our 2026 word of the year is going to be: Foundations!
Every year, since I was about 20 (?), I have picked ONE word to summarize the direction I want my life to go. That covers everything from finances, health, work, social, creativity, etc. So 2025’s word was REST as our focus. In every area of life, we learned how to take a step back and take care of ourselves, trying to pull apart our self-worth from our productivity.
Since we are moving to a new location, we are going to try to build new patterns to support growth in each area. Our current place also has so many heavy memories, with maybe multiple adjustments of patterns over the 5 years, to where there would be issues remembering what pattern or habit or routine we were trying to build. Also, we live in a J-shaped hallway—not much space to do anything anyway other than two directions in a hallway.
We also have a display at American Classics Marketplace!
Our case number is 410M, between Lucille Ball Way and Judy Garland Way. Stop by and take a look, and let us know what you think!
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Down the line we are also hoping to get a studio for our art and a place where people can meet us and make stuff with us. What sort of projects would you like to learn with us, and what days or times generally work best for you?
We’re looking to have our studio at Who Gives a SCRAP! if they have an opening and we get selected. This will be later, so keep an eye out and plan on stopping by to see almost everything that we create in one place!
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I didn't go over our usual topics during this update but will try to address them in the next post. Depends when I am able to get to the scheduling and planning part of our business.
There was so much I wanted to add to this, but I really do not have time. I also need to work on updating the website to be more cohesive and manageable. It will start small again and keep growing as I am able to work on each page with more intention.
Thanks to Kelsey Rodriguez and her amazing business videos on YouTube that have helped propel us and our business forward. Because she is also a creative building a business with chronic illnesses, her steps are much more direct and doable.
Not everyone has the same 24 hours. Those with chronic illnesses may only have, at best, 4 hours of workable time if their health allows it. Most of that time is managing symptoms and issues to prevent bigger collapses.
This is what we have to keep in mind with how much damage our bodies have already endured. We want to have a business that can carry us when our health isn’t the best and not also be stressed out by the failures of our government. We don’t want to be reliant on it, so we hope to make enough to survive with our own skills and abilities when we can.
So hearing from someone who understands these limitations has greatly encouraged us to have more hope in a viable, growing business! All other mentors or business owners kept talking about steps we could not do, nor did we have the funds to pay someone else to do it. It was a dead end.
Now an exciting future ahead!
Thank you to those who have been with us for a while, and thank you to those who have just joined!
Come with us on our journey and follow us On Our Trail.
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